I got married to a wonderful man who thinks the world of me. He tells me that what attracted me to him was the inner strength that he perceives I have. You see, my husband can easily get moved by the motions all around him. He tends to look for words of affirmation from those around him, while I on the other hand tend to be content with who I am as I do not let people define me.
We would often go out together for dates and walk the streets and shopping malls together. As we walked together, he seemed to notice that people would often stare at us. “What are they looking at”, he would often exclaim. Some people would even stop in their tracks, turn around and stare. My husband would even go further and gently mouth out “What are you staring at”, and I would gently just smile and tell him – it’s okay.
On one occasion, I had to sit my husband down and explain to him, that I, Adetutu, I am special, very special. A special human being, blessed with Gods power and wisdom. He created me perfect, and perfect in His own special way.
So, because I am so special, I will attract a lot of attention. I don’t have to do anything to attract attention. Just being around me will certainly attract attention. I’m not just like anyone else. I have been created unique, to showcase Gods glory here on earth.
My husband began to see the inner strength that I have – that I am not defined by people or the circumstances around me. I draw my inner strength from He who hath made me and this is what has given me the grace to become more than I am.
Nowadays, we have allowed circumstances and society to define who we are, and as a result have become what society defines as acceptable. We live in a world whereby young adults are defined by social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter). The amount of likes of Facebook determines how much of a person of influence you are. Young girls are defined by images of perfection causing them to want to be a “wanna be”. Young men do all they can to fit into a certain stereotype of perfection; looking for role models to perfect who they are meant to be. The saddest part of all of this is that when these definitions of who we are meant to be begin to change, we either follow them in that direction, or wake up, jump off the bus ride and feel empty inside.
You need to come to a point of your life whereby you know that you are a perfect human being and are not defined by your circumstances or the opinions of people. Take a step back and find out – Who exactly are you? Do you really know who you are or do you want to spend your life being defined and dictated by people, things or circumstances?
To find out who you really are, do a 360 degrees of yourself. Stop living in a fool’s paradise. Stop living your life in someone else’s dream. Stop looking at the things that you don’t have and look at the things that God has blessed you with. A practical way of doing this is to get a pen and paper and draw a line down the middle of it with opposite headings of “I have” and “I have not”. Write down all that applies to you. Do some serious soul searching and you will find out that you have more than you have not. And if you find out that this isn’t the case, then put together a plan of what you can honestly do in your own strength to make a change in your life. These are things that will eventually cause you to discover – who exactly you are. You are you, and not what the world says you are.